Why Children Should Be Included in a Funeral

Libby Admin • September 17, 2024

When a child falls and scuffs a knee we kiss the boo boo. A boo boo kiss doesn’t really make the injury “all better” but it is an important first step. It acknowledges the injury. The child is comforted that an adult is in charge. They know they are not alone. The hurt knee might need stitches, or it might just need some soap and water and a super hero Band-Aid. Either way the boo boo kiss is the first step to things falling in order.

 

 A funeral is like a boo boo kiss.  Everyone needs to start somewhere when a family member dies. The funeral, regardless of its form, acknowledges that life has changed for everyone. Gathering together provides an opportunity to give and receive comfort. It provides an opportunity to share memories. The child can see that he is not alone in his feelings of sadness. The funeral is for all family, friends, and yes the kids.

 

 Kenneth J Doku PhD, author Good Mourning psychocologytoday.com suggests that children be asked if they wish to attend the funeral. The child chooses. That means an adult needs to be able to tell the child what she can expect so that the choice is informed.

 

When children are a part of the family they should be considered and accommodated for from the very beginning of funeral preparations. Those family members who will be making the arrangements should ask the funeral director about how children will be accommodated.  Ask about a family lounge where kids can take a break. Ask if you can bring snacks for the younger ones. 

 

The adults in charge should be sure that they have all the information they need so that they can properly prepare the children in the family. A funeral isn’t easy, it does not make the loss less acute, and nothing can make it “all better.” A funeral is an important first step to a healthy adjustment to loss. Kids should be included to the extent that they wish to be.

 

 

 

 

 

Bringing a child to a funeral? How do you prepare?

 

Our first instinct is to protect our children we don’t want them to Obviously the first thought is about the child. How will he behave at the funeral? Children who are able to manage eating in a restrauant or attending church can usually manage accompanying family members to a funeral and should be offered the opportunity to attend.   To attend or not to attend should be the child’s choice according to Kenneth J Doka PhD author of Good Mooring.

 

Children should be prepared so that they know what to expect. Will the body be present? What will the see? What will the adults do? When they need or want a break who will take care of them? If they want to approach the casket what can they expect? 

 

 

Should children be included in funeral service?

How do you prepare children to attend?

 

 

www.libbyfuneralhome.com

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